Jun 24 Written By Tamekia Sanders
Over the last 2 months I’ve gone through so much that would have caused many to go into a state of depression or downward spiral. My siblings and I found out after many years we have another sibling. At first when the news broke I had so many emotions running through my mind. It took me 3 days to fully process this news and deal with my emotions. I felt hurt, disappointment, ashamed, resentment and angry. I couldn’t wrap my head around why it was kept a secret for so long. This news almost divided my family. I’m not gonna sit here and say we all were accepting of this news at first but like anything in life, there is always a process for everything. The process of pain in order to heal can run so deep into your roots that it effects the way you look at life. So we tranquilize our pain, we numb it, we escape it, we do everything to avoid feeling it. The consequence of not processing pain is that it finds a way to sneak into your future. I believe the reason why people continue to repeat the same suffering and pain in future relationships and situations is because they never let their wounds properly heal.
When we avoid the pain, we pretend it isn’t there by lying to ourselves. This feels better in the moment but never works long term because we avoid pain. We avoid this pain until something triggers it again and we forced to deal with it . We make a choice to avoid emotions, resist and react to the emotions or process the emotions. Pain, suffering, and difficult times are simply a part of life. It is what we do with it that makes all the difference. Though it can be difficult, I believe feeling it can have a beautiful purpose. With awareness and patience we can uncover pain’s purpose. Cultivate a strong relationship with yourself; become self aware, track your highs and lows, know that there will be good times and bad times. In difficult situations, ask yourself what is the moment teaching you. Throw away the timeline and just let go. You do not have to follow anyone else’s time frame. Prepare for something new, every ending has a new beginning. Trust God in this process and know that you are always being guided.
You will discover your own strength. When James talks about the trials of life he describes them as a test, but not so God can see how strong you are. God already knows that. Pain is not an opportunity for God to see how strong you are, but for you to see how strong you are. This is one of the qualities for those who are hopeful during tribulation, who see themselves as winners instead of losers : who don’t view their trials as useless, a waste, or a distraction from the goodness that they could experience in life if they didn’t have problems. They see them as a reason for greater intimacy with Jesus. I believe that through every trouble God is shaping them into a greater likeness of Himself. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
We all face pain in some sort of fashion in life. Learn to pray during those hard days or times when the pain just seems to overtake you. Learn to seek God in every way that you can and he will see you through your trails. Learn to trust him and never let his hand go. And remember avoiding pain won’t teach you how to grow, its apart of life not the end of it. Enjoy this life that God has given you and trust your process to reveal your purpose.